Which Corvette Generation Are You?
We all have our personal preferences for Corvettes, but what if we are actually lusting after the wrong Corvette? What if based on various, totally scientific* and irrefutable peer-reviewed** studies, I can prove which Corvette generation you should actually own, or the Corvette that really represents you? I have collected traits and statements that will provide a 100-percent accurate answer to exactly which generation of America’s sports car you should be pining after.
*I have a science degree, so everything I do is scientific.
** My buddy looked it over the other night at the bar and didn’t find a single thing he disagreed with.
C1: These are the owners who appreciate what America used to be.
- You find nothing better than a morning cruise in a car with no roof or windows.
- V8s are great, but there are some damned-fine straight-six motors in this world.
- You know who Eleanora Fagan is, and you think she is an American treasure.
C2: C2 Owners are a special breed that loves racing and speed more than most.
- You know the 1960s represented the best racing the world has ever seen.
- V8s are life, and big blocks are the best blocks.
- Neil Armstrong is the greatest American hero. You know this is undisputed truth.
- There is nothing more beautiful than a split-window racer in the soft light of a sunset.
C3: If you are a secret C3 lover, you have impeccable taste in style, and terrible timing.
- You couldn’t care that your V8 makes less power than a Prius.
- You know all the best cars in the world have front fenders that are dramatically higher than the hoodline.
- Nothing is better than pulling off a pair of T-Tops and removing a rear window before a summer drive.
- No band has ever made better driving music than Led Zeppelin.
C4: The wild era of the 1980s brought out a change for the Corvette owner.
- You want your body to look as good as your Corvette, and you have the sweat band collection to prove it.
- You understand electronics are the future for everything. Music, dash instrument clusters, calculator watches, all of it — electronic.
- You have personal and intimate knowledge that the space behind a C4 seat is the exact size and shape to hold a Trapper Keeper.
- You know how useful an opening rear hatch can be during those summer nights with a lovely lady.
C5: Welcome to the future. Welcome to horsepower.
- If you ever hear anyone talk about an engine replacement, you immediately respond with “LS Small Block” before dropping the mic and walking away.
- Hearing “Z06” provides you with enough physical arousal as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
- You used money from selling your dot-com startup to buy your fleet of sports cars.
- You enjoy knowing you drive the car that put Corvette back into the performance big leagues.
C6: Science and engineering have created a monster, and you love every bit of it.
- Nothing would make you happier than burning a metric ton of headlight motors. Feel free to dance around the electronics flambé.
- You know 400 horsepower is the absolute minimum required to demand respect at the track.
- You pray to the temples of carbon fiber and superchargers.
C7: The latest and greatest of Corvettes. You are the newest of the breed, the fastest and the most aggressive.
- You think every car should have black wheels.
- You know round lights are for people who yell “get off my lawn” a lot.
- Ultra-fast-shifting automatics are the future, and you welcome the death of the manual transmission with open arms.
- You know cooling an engine is not important. Only horsepower is important.
So what do you think? Based on this list, which Corvette owner should you be, or which Corvette best represents you? Feel free to answer below in our handy-dandy poll.